Look at Me
by Furu Kei
Summary: Shizuru is always seeking, waiting. Eventually, Natsuki understands. Shiznat. slightly AU Oneshot


_Look at Me_

By Furu Kei

**A/N: **I'm sorry…I do not know how to write anymore. I am sorry for any out-of-character-ness.

**Note:** This is slightly AU. Some scenes are from the anime, some scenes are Furu-created. The storyline does not really follow all that happened in Mai HiME.

Thoughts are in _italics._

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

_I now know why I've always felt so sad._

_I've always been right here in front of you, but you're always looking away towards that place I can never reach._

* * *

><p><em>I love you, Natsuki.<em>

Her breath fogs up the glass in front of them and Shizuru giggles, reaching forward to draw a heart upon the cold surface.

"I'll protect you, Natsuki."

She says it calmly, gently- as if it is the most natural thing in the world.

Her voice barely registers beneath the raucous of her schoolmates, but they manage to catch it anyway.

Between Chie's furious scribbling and Aoi's squeals, the students clamor around them to utter various words of disagreement.

"Shizuru! How inappropriate-" the executive director claims, and the girls around them begin chanting in their mixed approval as though they're in some silly little game.

Natsuki blushes and raises an eyebrow at this while Shizuru grins teasingly.

Around them the students' cheerful banter continues, quickly moving on to different topics.

Besides Haruka, no one seriously tries to consider Shizuru's words- alluding it merely to the girl's usual silly and joking temperament.

Natsuki shrugs as she leaves the school building, awkward moment soon forgotten.

Outside, a gust of wind blows forward and away, unaware of the promise.

* * *

><p><em>A breeze.<em>

_Petals everywhere._

_Dark blue-black hair dancing against pale white skin…_

_And hand reaching out- strong but delicate- forward._

"_You shouldn't do that."_

_Reddish hues bloom on smooth cheeks and Natsuki pauses, turning to look at the source of the voice._

_Shizuru drinks in the sight, mesmerized._

"_Flowers are meant to be loved."_

* * *

><p><em>I love you, Natsuki.<em>

She was walking to the student council room.

The white haired boy beside her smirks, a bounce in his step as he follows the graceful girl through the hallway.

"Oooh what fun! The carnival will soon begin! You do have an advantage over them, since they don't know that you're a HiME too."

Shizuru's face is expressionless as she looks at the door before them…seeing but not seeing.

"Their fighting has nothing to do with me."

Her eyes widen slightly when he laughs.

"The wheels are turning and you can't escape, with the most important person to you on the line. Who will come out on top?"

She turns to him then, calm smile set in place.

"I will protect Natsuki."

Detecting the steel that bled through her eyes, he walks away, arms folded casually behind his head as though pretending that what she said did not matter.

Without a glance, Shizuru enters the room, closing the door gently behind her.

Her expression softens as she quietly walks closer to the girl sleeping by the laptop.

_A heart beat._

Shizuru's hands quiver slightly, lost within the other girl's blue tresses.

She reaches forward, longing to touch Natsuki's cheeks; to trace the red that often blooms there-

_Flowers are meant to be loved._

Before they reach their destination, her hands jerk back suddenly, as though scorched.

Crimson eyes close tightly.

Painfully.

"I'll protect you."

Natsuki blinks as she wakes up to see Shizuru standing a short distance away.

Shaking her head slightly to clear her sleepy mind, Natsuki does not notice Shizuru's hands- white and firmly clenched against the window.

* * *

><p><em>I love you, Natsuki.<em>

Shizuru's powers are like a second nature to her.

She has always been strong.

Always been in control.

Her powers are a part of her love, and Shizuru could only love immensely.

It came to her easily, and she did not exert much effort to overpower Nao.

Without a second thought, she'd left the red-haired girl on the ground, defeated.

Winning was never important. What became of her opponent was never important.

The only thing Shizuru could think of, the only one Shizuru could see…

Natsuki is sitting on the futon- motionless, lost.

There are times when physical protection could only do so much.

_What should I do, Natsuki?_

_How do I keep you safe and happy?_

It hurts seeing those green eyes so lifeless, Shizuru thinks.

It hurts knowing that Shizuru can do nothing for Natsuki's empty heart.

Unable to bear watching the broken Natsuki much longer, Shizuru moves to leave the room, pausing once she reaches the door.

"I love you, Natsuki."

The younger girl- ever kind- smiles softly, sadly.

"I love you too."

The sliding door closes sharply, accusingly.

Natsuki continues to look straight ahead, blank, unaware.

_It's not the same. You don't understand._

* * *

><p><em>I love you, Natsuki.<em>

Kiyohime roars in the distance as Shizuru pierces the ground with her naginata.

The sounds from the battle are a mere dull echo in her ears as she falls on her knees amidst the rubble of the destroyed church.

The images around her blurs, and dimly, Shizuru registers a pair of hands on her shoulders.

_Whose?_

Reality has never felt so…off.

Someone was saying something, she thought.

A loud blast resounds, but Shizuru takes no notice, lost as she is within that soothing voice.

_Natsu…ki?_

Excruciating throbbing in her heart, she vaguely notes, and for one short moment the world becomes strikingly clear.

Soft blue tendrils, ticking her face.

Natsuki's warmth and gentle arms.

Lost in green.

Her lips open then close.

_Please…just…look at me. I'm right here. I love you. _

Too much to say.

Nothing to say.

_Can you love me too?_

She clings to Natsuki's shirt desperately as her heart drops, searching...

_I'm sorry_

After a moment, she sees recognition shine in those green eyes.

_Thank you._

Shizuru smiles and lets herself go.

* * *

><p>As she watches Shizuru disappear in her arms, Natsuki finally understands.<p> 


End file.
